Sunday, October 12, 2008

TSA and In Control

I'm not saying that TSA is in control...just that I'm sticking two topics in one post.

My recent conversation with a TSA employee:
TSA: That you baby?
ME: Yes, he is.
TSA: You give birth to him?
ME: No, he was born in Taiwan.
TSA: Oh, so you are like his foster mom or you adopted him?
ME: Yes, he was adopted.
TSA: You got a....a...significant other?
ME: Yes, I am married.
TSA: You want any kids of your own?
ME: Well, we consider him our own...but if you mean biological children, whatever God has planned is fine.
TSA: Well, God bless you!!!
He already has!

IN CONTROL...not...
Ok, I'm guessing that most people have some sort of "thing" they do when they are in the midst of a not-so-fun situation in which they have no control.

For some it may be organizing closets. For others it may be retail therapy.

For's cutting my hair.

Or maybe I should say "chopping"...yes, chopping-maiming-annihilating is a much more accurate description. I guess that when I am in crisis mode, hair chopping is my signature "thing." Which wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing IF I went to a professional...or had some kind of scissor-wielding certificate of achievement myself.

But, alas, I now have a messy, uneven, *coughcough* inches shorter hairdo that I will complain about until it grows out to my standard shoulder length. BTW, I tend to fall on the sassy side when I have short no telling the direction my posts will take for awhile!

Matthew is pretty much as cute as can be. We are working on one nap/day...which seems to be going OK. Would be better if he could sleep for longer than an 50 mins-1 hour for his one nap, but that may take time. He loves dancing and has added the side-to-side sway to his list of groovin' moves. He's become pretty picky with eating and will shudder and cry at the thought of putting something in his mouth (even if he loved it the day before)...but if I say "5 more bites" then he quickly just shoves them in his mouth, no problem. He is still growing like a weed. Pants that fit him in May are high-waters now.

I recently had a biopsy at my gynocologist's. It was an endo-someotherletters-opsy. I wasn't too worried going into the appointment. Afterall, my gyno is Dr. Touchless. I think the first rule of thumb for any procedure ending in "opsy" should be "keep all 20 inch clawed metal instruments out of patient's view." Seems reasonable. The procedure wasn't horrible (yes, yes, it really was), but for some reason in gyno-related situations I suddenly morph into Jerry Seinfield's sister and run comic relief commentary the entire time. I actually think the whole thing could have been over in mere moments if the doctor had not been laughing so hard. What was I thinking??? BTW, the results were fine.

Funny...not sure if I already posted this...but I told Scott I was craving steak one night. So what did we do? Steak tacos from Taco Bell. Classy, huh? Should have paired them with a nice box o' wine. And the really funny thing is we searched the Taco Bell website so we could make sure they even had such a thing before we ran for the border. Gimme an L, gimme an O, gimme an S.......

Photo courtesy of my precious friend, Kari:

edited2add: ok, of course right after i post about M doing fairly well with the new sleep schedule, it falls apart. he has been sleeping til almost 8:30 every morning which is how we've been able to make it until noonish for his one nap. he sleeps for about 50 mins, then he's up til bed at 7:00p. he had a restless night last night and was up before 7:00a this morning...making it highly unlikely that he'll be able to make it until his noon nap without a huge throw down. you keep on the same schedule OR put him down earlier thus having to either put him down again for a 2nd nap or to move up his bedtime tonight? i really want to get him on one nap a day if possible.


Lisa said...

Oh, I would love to see a pic. of your new sassy self...with inches less of hair! :)
I'm glad your procedure ended up being fine. I tend to be the "hold your breath until its over" type, leading to blue lips and panicked doctors. Smelling salts please!!
Your way sounds much less stressful & much more entertaining!
M sounds like such fun !!

Mark, Rebecca and Sophia said...

Hello? Where is the picture of sassy you?

Gyno: My reaction is the cring, tense up and can't always make it happen kind of freak out reaction. Sad, huh?

Sounds like you set that TSA agent straight!

M-What a cutie!

Control-Wish I had some more, but I got none!

Jenna said...

You are hysterical.....that was really good for a laugh!

OK- so you are SO going to post a picture of the new you, right? I chopped my hair recently too, but mostly because it was driving me crazy. You're brave!

Tami said...

Oh Tish...I'm cracking up're too funny!! Glad things tourned out OK with the biopsy....whewww.

I'm exactly the same with my hair...whenever I'm looking for a 'change' in my life, my attention turns to my hair!

Would love to see a picture of the before and after;-).

Shannon said...

OK - like everyone else here...I am going to be waiting to see a picture of the new 'do.

Also, cracked me up about the Taco Bell website...I always have to check a restaurant's website before going out to eat so I can plan on what I want to order - but this may have taken it to a whole new level!

kari said...

can't wait to see the hair! xxxx

Andrea said...

Loved it1

Doing the bloggy fly-by.
Been thinking about you.
Keep him up as long as you can, EVEN if he is acting like he HAS NO BRAIN.
Put him down at the usual time, wake him at the usual time.
Pretty soon his body will start to wind down at the same time everyday!
Then you are on easy street.
Love you,

dan and rachel said...

such a funny post! where do i start?

i also do the dramatic hair chop, but for me it occurs during major life changes. i also call it "sassy". last time i got it cut, jude said, "i love your haircut, mama. it's kinda sassy!"

i have a friend who used to say about taco bell, "grade D food, grade A taste." i loved that! i haven't made a run for the border since college...

jude was also a 45 min-1 hour napper, so i can relate. he worked it out for about 6 mo when he was about 20 mo old or so and i was pregnant with indi. God had mercy on me. but J quickly gave up naps altogether after she was born. i think some kids just are not good nappers. wah wah wah.

Rebecca said...

Oh my word. My sides hurt from laughing!!!! Gosh dang you are funny!! Steak burrito & a box of wine! LOL!

Glad the results came back ok. :)