Tuesday, August 26, 2008

we did not escape unscathed...

This post could also be titled "Nightmare at 30,000 feet" or "The day the friendly skies took a turn for the worse" or "Hey, flight attendant, get me a triple shot of whiskey...and I don't care if it costs more than my airfare."

Our trip home from IL was every bit as horrible as our trip to IL was wonderful.

A lady was kicked. A flight attendant was cried at. A little head badly conked when tantrum convulsions led to the said head making direct contact with the metal arm rest. Twice.

Oh yeah, and the juice cup...brought out as a saving grace in hopes of calming the storm. I handed it to Mr. Hysterics and, when the top was flipped back to expose the straw, the laws of physics kicked in and juice-under-pressure went spraying 15 feet in all directions. This, of course, only served to fuel the fire of fury in M. So I flipped back the top and frantically searched for the baby wipes. Of course, M couldn't leave it alone and so we spent the next few moments..which in reality was a slow motion play-out of eternity...with M opening the top, getting sprayed in the face, screaming more, and me closing the top, unsuccessfully trying to quiet him, and wiping apple juice off of irritated travelers with my soggy baby wipes.

And that was just in-flight.

Screams of protest coming from the public bathroom. Screams of selfishness coming from the kids' play area. Screams echoing throughout the long corridors...and all erupting from the mouth of my kid.

The words "Flight attendants, please prepare the plane for landing" have never sounded so good.

I wasn't surprised. I knew it was coming. M's sleep while at my mom's was diminishing every day....naps shorter...nights more restless. And so again, on travel day after a night lacking of zzzzz's, he woke too early, took a 40 min nap pre-flight, and never shut his eyes again.

I think the next time we decide to travel out of state, we're walking.

edited2add: Hey Shelly from Nashville! Thanks for de-lurking! Yes, Monical's is always a MUST when I go home. I could eat a whole large pizza by myself. Usually I do the one-two punch and get Monical's AND Avanti's!!!

11 comments:

Andrea said...

OH MY GOODNESS! The plane ride from hell!
I hope you wrote all of this down. It is very important that you keep a log of all of the times he embarrassed you in public, because one day HE WILL HAVE CHILDREN OF HIS OWN- And when he comes to you whining and complaining about how hard it is to be a parent-YOU WHIP OUT THE LOG BOOK! Pay Back, Baby! :)
Of Course pictures are good,too.
If it makes you feel any better- One time(@ 4y/o)Caleb called a flight attendant a "waitress" and told her to "hurry up and get him a Coke!"

xoxo,

A

Tracy said...

you poor thing. Sounds like you had more than your hands full. I have personally never taken my children on the plane, but I know my sister has had one of these experiences. She, for whatever reason, decided to put the cooler with her pumped breast milk in the overhead compartment. Well, needless to say, she dropped it and dumped ice everywhere! She couldn't get off the plane fast enough...

Hauswife said...

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear! You poor thing. Been there many many many times, though. I think it's payback from our parents. :P

Tami said...

OH.BOY!!!!!! You won't be forgetting this trip for a while, I'm sure. Though it was very entertaining to read, I know you were definitely not amused. If you managed to stay calm through the whole thing...you should be first in line for the mother of the year award!!!!

Hope you don't have too many nightmares;-).

Tish said...

no, tami, i didn't remain calm...so no award for me!!!

Mark, Rebecca and Sophia said...

Oh man. I think you officially earned your parenting stripes. I was cringing for you as I read this.

Shannon said...

Oh man...that does not make me feel good about preparing for our very long flight! I am so sorry it was so awful. And to think, I seriously had two of those flip top straw cups in my hand yesterday thinking they'd be perfect for our flight and I put them back. Glad to know they do not work in the skies. Hope you both get some rest these next few days.

kari said...

oh friend, we'll join you on that walk........

Rebecca said...

Oh my heavens... that sounds like the most horrible ride EVER!

I can't believe he was so good on the plane just days before!! What is up????

If he is naughty again, feel free to spank him with those candlesticks if you want. Dual purpose. :)

R

Just Us said...

Oh my tish you weren't kidding that I needed to read this post! I'm so sorry that M had a horrible flight and thus you did too. Eeeek. I give you so much credit for flying solo with any kid. Now you got me scared for our trip in Nov. which will be a 7+ hour direct flight..eeeek.

J+Di Di said...

Oh..my.. I totally get your pain!! Hey, I always tell myself that "if this tantrum doesn't kill me, it will make me stronger!!" lol... Actually, my boy's tantrums have been getting less frequent, and strangely I am starting to miss those embarassing-public-trantrum-throwing moments...hahaha.. I know I am wierd!!