our trip

Well, I guess there are two points concerning our trip to post about...the traveling and my mom. I'll start with the traveling.

Preparing for this trip, I knew I needed some new ammo for the flights. So I made two big purchases in hopes of finding just the right anti-hysteria trick. One purchase was a family size bag of dum-dum suckers and the other was an inexpensive DVD player. Yep, I was more than ready.

I'm happy to report that on this trip no flight attendants were kicked, no passengers threw themselves out the exit door, and we were not banned from the friendly skies. In fact, I didn't even need any of the new stuff, which actually turned out for the best because now I have suckers for Fall Festival and the DVD player had somehow run out of juice making it unusable (did I mention it was "inexCHEAPpensive"?).

M's sleep was, of course, off kilter during the visit, but he held up fairly well. He did, however, sleep until 9 the morning after we arrived home. So now we are back to trying one nap a day...but that is another post.

As for my mom, she is not well. The photos do not reflect the physical suffering that she is enduring. She is not necessarily in pain; she just feels miserable. A few times I found myself apologizing to her for the difficulty I have in truly empathizing with her...for I honestly cannot comprehend what she is going through. I wish I could...wish I could take on the burden...relieve her of the fear. But this is her path to walk just as one day I will walk my own. Yet knowing that does not shield your heart from your mother's sobs.

Here's the thing though...while I do not understand all she is going through, I know the One who does. While I am unfamiliar with the loss, the humiliation, and the separation from loved ones that have come with her cancer, Jesus is not. I trust that not a tear falls upon her cheek that He does not see and is not willing to wipe away with His love. His compassion fails not.

God tells us to "rejoice in all things" and, right now, that is really all I want to do....so....

I am thankful for
- my mom's cat peeing on my sister's futon so that we had to share a bed...which led to very late night gab sessions
- my stepdad who is caring for my mom with a servant's heart...even if it means cinnamon danish cravings in the middle of the night
- the vibrant hues of pumpkins and flowers and turning leaves that brighten even the dreariest of days
- people who work and volunteer in hospice
- being surrounded by family and friends...my heart is heavy for those who go through trials alone
- the absolute confidence I have in the absolute power of God...knowing that He could heal my mother completely and immediately even at this moment...and yet being resigned to His will. This is a gift from Him...not a quality of my own.

We're Back!

1. ACK! Look how close the baby on the ticker is to the caterpillar's nose! I better get some birthday plans goin'!

2. Funny moment - Matthew and I were sitting in the train lounge when a dude came in with a sandwich and bag of chips. As soon as he walked through the door Matthew started smiling and pointing at him. Then the poor guy made the mistake of sitting near us. That's when Matthew broke out his "more" sign and went to town. He just kept staring at the guy and frantically signing for more of his lunch. The guy wasn't too excited about Matthew's attention, so we had to leave the lounge.

3. Feels so good - As wonderful as it is to spend time with my family, after a 22 hour train ride not much feels better than my husband's arms and my own pillow. Matthew was happy to be home and to check out all of his stuff. He got a little wiggy at dinner...probably from being overtired and the excitement of coming home....and he was double fisting the "more" sign for everything on the table. Before I could even get a bite into his mouth he was already signing for more. It was on the verge of nutty. Needless to say, he went to bed early. +++++This morning Matthew woke up, looked around his room, pointed to his toys and started clapping!

4. My family has a dog (who likes to bark) and now when you ask Matthew what we say to the dog, he shakes his head 'NO!" They also have an unsocial cat who stayed in the laundry room the entire time we visited. At one point Matthew and I opened the door to the laundry room only to have the cat hiss at us....and Matthew responded by saying "oh, oh, oh!"

5. Matthew was doing pretty well at walking with his walking toys before we left but, after being carried everywhere on our trip, he isn't interested in walking now at home. Scott said we should tell him that he really needs to "apply himself more"....too funny!

6. OOOOOOPS! I think I left my camera cord at my mom's....so photos may not be up until I get a new one. BUMMER.