no sleep...does he think he's in college?

I kept M on his one-nap schedule yesterday despite him acting (as so eloquently stated by Andrea) like he "had no brain."

And so begins the all too familiar cycle of utter sleep destruction where overtired snowballs into extremely overtired.

Frequent readers of this blog already know all of this (sorry to bore you again), but I never know when a newbie is visiting...some worn-out mama who is wondering if anyone else can relate to her child's sleep issues. And so, the destruction in detail:

7:00pm - in bed, falls asleep quickly
9:30pm - restless
12:30am til about 2:00am - AWAKE
5:45am til 7:45am - AWAKE (I left him in bed so I could read & pray...and he was content)

He just fell back asleep, so we'll see how long it lasts. I am very grateful that he did indeed go back down. Yesterday I didn't even get him out of his bed for the first time without a fit.

On a much sweeter note, I put on an old fleece this morning and felt something in the pocket. It was the pacifier that M used when we met him in Taiwan. Made me miss that little baby!!!

Yesterday my big boy and I went over to the university to feed ducks and hang out. It's amazing how much M likes being at "college." The must-be-entertained-every-second demands fade away, and he is content to sit and watch even when the smoothie well has run dry. We sat on a wall outside the student union and, I think because he was tired, he leaned his body over on mine, kicked his feet up on the wall, and chilled. I wish I could have snagged a photo...his pose was very "college boy." So maybe last night he was simply awake practicing for his college days.

WELL, his back-to-sleep lasted for 20 minutes. I'm pretty sure if you do the college math, that should easily make up for the 4 hours he missed out on last night!

hair chop

ok...that was REALLY difficult to get some shots of the chop without laughing hysterically.

almost as difficult as recording a voicemail greeting...something i have not yet done successfully on my new phone. it's pretty much me laughing and scott at the end saying something like "that's a nice one, babe."

here is the former length of my hair
here is the new length, which actually looks longer in the photos because of the way i am sitting
can you tell i'm about to lose it here?
ok...kind of a smile but not in focus.

TSA and In Control

I'm not saying that TSA is in control...just that I'm sticking two topics in one post.

My recent conversation with a TSA employee:
TSA: That you baby?
ME: Yes, he is.
TSA: You give birth to him?
ME: No, he was born in Taiwan.
TSA: Oh, so you are like his foster mom or you adopted him?
ME: Yes, he was adopted.
TSA: You got a....a...significant other?
ME: Yes, I am married.
TSA: You want any kids of your own?
ME: Well, we consider him our own...but if you mean biological children, whatever God has planned is fine.
TSA: Well, God bless you!!!
He already has!


IN CONTROL...not...
Ok, I'm guessing that most people have some sort of "thing" they do when they are in the midst of a not-so-fun situation in which they have no control.

For some it may be organizing closets. For others it may be retail therapy.

For me...it's cutting my hair.

Or maybe I should say "chopping"...yes, chopping-maiming-annihilating is a much more accurate description. I guess that when I am in crisis mode, hair chopping is my signature "thing." Which wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing IF I went to a professional...or had some kind of scissor-wielding certificate of achievement myself.

But, alas, I now have a messy, uneven, *coughcough* inches shorter hairdo that I will complain about until it grows out to my standard shoulder length. BTW, I tend to fall on the sassy side when I have short hair...so no telling the direction my posts will take for awhile!

OTHER STUFF
Matthew is pretty much as cute as can be. We are working on one nap/day...which seems to be going OK. Would be better if he could sleep for longer than an 50 mins-1 hour for his one nap, but that may take time. He loves dancing and has added the side-to-side sway to his list of groovin' moves. He's become pretty picky with eating and will shudder and cry at the thought of putting something in his mouth (even if he loved it the day before)...but if I say "5 more bites" then he quickly just shoves them in his mouth, no problem. He is still growing like a weed. Pants that fit him in May are high-waters now.

I recently had a biopsy at my gynocologist's. It was an endo-someotherletters-opsy. I wasn't too worried going into the appointment. Afterall, my gyno is Dr. Touchless. I think the first rule of thumb for any procedure ending in "opsy" should be "keep all 20 inch clawed metal instruments out of patient's view." Seems reasonable. The procedure wasn't horrible (yes, yes, it really was), but for some reason in gyno-related situations I suddenly morph into Jerry Seinfield's sister and run comic relief commentary the entire time. I actually think the whole thing could have been over in mere moments if the doctor had not been laughing so hard. What was I thinking??? BTW, the results were fine.

Funny...not sure if I already posted this...but I told Scott I was craving steak one night. So what did we do? Steak tacos from Taco Bell. Classy, huh? Should have paired them with a nice box o' wine. And the really funny thing is we searched the Taco Bell website so we could make sure they even had such a thing before we ran for the border. Gimme an L, gimme an O, gimme an S.......

Photo courtesy of my precious friend, Kari:

edited2add: ok, of course right after i post about M doing fairly well with the new sleep schedule, it falls apart. he has been sleeping til almost 8:30 every morning which is how we've been able to make it until noonish for his one nap. he sleeps for about 50 mins, then he's up til bed at 7:00p. he had a restless night last night and was up before 7:00a this morning...making it highly unlikely that he'll be able to make it until his noon nap without a huge throw down. so....do you keep on the same schedule OR put him down earlier thus having to either put him down again for a 2nd nap or to move up his bedtime tonight? i really want to get him on one nap a day if possible.

verse 34

The following are verses from Mark 10 in which Jesus tells His disciples of the things He will suffer when they reach Jerusalem:

verse 33: "Behold, we are going up to Jerusalem, and the Son of Man will be betrayed to the chief priests and to the scribes; and they will condemn Him to death and deliver Him to the Gentiles;

verse 34: "and they will mock Him, and scourge Him, and spit on Him, and kill Him. And the third day He will rise again."

verse 35: Then James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came to Him, saying, "Teacher, we want You to do for us whatever we ask."

Reread verse 35. Do you ever find yourself pulling this with Jesus? I do. Like the disciples, I can easily gloss over His sacrifice and say, "OK, yeah, the scourging, the spitting, the killing...thanks, Jesus...now what I really want You to do for me is..."

I hope that, despite your needs & wishes & wants, today you will stop at verse 34.

For today may you camp out there...really listening...as if Jesus is speaking to you while you walk the dusty road to Jersusalem. May you ruminate on the truth and reality of His words until they make a change in your heart.

For today may verse 34 be enough.

our trip

Well, I guess there are two points concerning our trip to post about...the traveling and my mom. I'll start with the traveling.

Preparing for this trip, I knew I needed some new ammo for the flights. So I made two big purchases in hopes of finding just the right anti-hysteria trick. One purchase was a family size bag of dum-dum suckers and the other was an inexpensive DVD player. Yep, I was more than ready.

I'm happy to report that on this trip no flight attendants were kicked, no passengers threw themselves out the exit door, and we were not banned from the friendly skies. In fact, I didn't even need any of the new stuff, which actually turned out for the best because now I have suckers for Fall Festival and the DVD player had somehow run out of juice making it unusable (did I mention it was "inexCHEAPpensive"?).

M's sleep was, of course, off kilter during the visit, but he held up fairly well. He did, however, sleep until 9 the morning after we arrived home. So now we are back to trying one nap a day...but that is another post.

As for my mom, she is not well. The photos do not reflect the physical suffering that she is enduring. She is not necessarily in pain; she just feels miserable. A few times I found myself apologizing to her for the difficulty I have in truly empathizing with her...for I honestly cannot comprehend what she is going through. I wish I could...wish I could take on the burden...relieve her of the fear. But this is her path to walk just as one day I will walk my own. Yet knowing that does not shield your heart from your mother's sobs.

Here's the thing though...while I do not understand all she is going through, I know the One who does. While I am unfamiliar with the loss, the humiliation, and the separation from loved ones that have come with her cancer, Jesus is not. I trust that not a tear falls upon her cheek that He does not see and is not willing to wipe away with His love. His compassion fails not.

God tells us to "rejoice in all things" and, right now, that is really all I want to do....so....

I am thankful for
- my mom's cat peeing on my sister's futon so that we had to share a bed...which led to very late night gab sessions
- my stepdad who is caring for my mom with a servant's heart...even if it means cinnamon danish cravings in the middle of the night
- the vibrant hues of pumpkins and flowers and turning leaves that brighten even the dreariest of days
- people who work and volunteer in hospice
- being surrounded by family and friends...my heart is heavy for those who go through trials alone
- the absolute confidence I have in the absolute power of God...knowing that He could heal my mother completely and immediately even at this moment...and yet being resigned to His will. This is a gift from Him...not a quality of my own.

and we're back

M and I are back in NM. Will post about our trip later...photos of pumpkin carving...a funny conversation with a little TSA worker...and a pretty great traveling companion in lil' M.

For now I just want to share this video that I saw on Stefanie's blog. Most of you have probably already seen it, but for those who haven't it's a good watch. May you be reminded of the unfathomable power of God.

and we're off....

getting ready to head to the airport for our trip to IL. if you are in the mood to give a shout out to God for me, please pray james 1:2-6.

leaving you with this video...a song by kendall payne...you have to sit through (or fast forward through) a little bit o' francis chan. but the words to the song are shown, so i chose this version to post.

and, because i'm not sure how often i'll be able to post, i thought i'd share a little bit of sugar to sweeten your day: